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A heavy price, no regrets

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发表于 2018-8-2 18:59:26 | 显示全部楼层 |阅读模式
A heavy price, no regrets
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At the beginning of 2012, I set my mind together and began to write this manuscript to recall the Wenhui monthly. Until the end of January 2018, I was like a lonely boat in the endless sea, unable to see the shore lights. From 70 years old to 76 years old, I spent the whole six years and one month. I finally sent this manuscript to the publisher's mailbox. The manuscript handed over, the pressure dropped suddenly, by the determination and the faith, the hard support and the struggle for more than 2000 days, suddenly felt that the body was extremely tired and was too tired. I comfort myself: 35 months' rest may return to normal.

A heavy price, no regrets
From early February to early May, I slowed down and waited patiently for the publisher to edit and read the manuscript while preparing pictures and scans for the manuscript. Before and after, because some people in the book of Wen Hui's monthly published in the book have gone away, my mood has been repressed and felt the urgency and responsibility of completing the book. Several predecessors, Xie Yuming, meadow, Madame meadow Yao Fangzao, and one of the "Founding Fathers", Xu Fengwu, who died in 2008, 2011, 2014, 2017, were all luckily old, and they died at the age of 85 to 95. To my shock and unacceptable, I sent away Liu Xuyuan, 67, at the funeral home in Longhua in January 14, 2018. In May 4th, Zhou Yuming was sent here, and she was only 71 years old.

I had no idea that a few days later, my illness and ill luck came to me. On the day of May 6th, I sighed and felt sad at home, saying that life was impermanent. Chou and Liu were still young and left too early. Also say, we do not pay much attention to the body, I have a few months of blood, one is not very concerned, two is not to put the hands of the matter, not to spend a few days to do a check. My son was very vigilant. He called with his sister working in American hospital that evening for advice. The elder sister said to him in a strict way, "take your father to do colonoscopy immediately!" On the morning of 8, my son took me to Changhai Hospital as an enteroscope. The son wanted to avoid me and tell his sister the enteroscope, and I told him not to: "I already know the result. The first line in the report was' rectum CA, two in the middle, in the form of cauliflower '." At that time, I felt suddenly, surprised, but did not collapse, half of the feeling, half lamented to the son and said: "I am 76 years old, even now leave, and do not die."

The result is unexpected, but also in reason, I have a certain idea of preparation: in spite of my mind, regardless of the dissuade and opposition of my family and friends, I will begin to write without fear. But I understand that at my age, writing such a volume of memory words is undoubtedly a race against life. The end of life is the law of nature, people in their 70s have begun to "queue up," I have been telling my friends, "we do not queue up. But I have been reluctant to think about it, like I was immersed in the atmosphere and recollection of the 80s of the last century, writing in the house, not in itself a high risk "queue"? It was a prophecy. Before I wrote, I said, "at the cost of life," now we must really honor this heavy promise. In May 9th, she was admitted to hospital for second days, and the operation was performed in the morning of May 11th. This is the most difficult time to endure in my life. From the early morning to the operation room, to the postoperative intensive care unit, the nurse did not allow me to eat sleeping pills because of general anesthesia. I did not sleep for a minute more than 40 hours before and after. Heart like fragments, if the head cracks, this process is inexpressible pain and torture, let me almost collapse, feel that life is better than death, life is loveless...

A heavy price, no regrets
Fortunately, the gloomy and depressing mood lasted for only two days and then disappeared. My cell phone was closed for three days, and I made my son with an insoluble and full escort to inform Zhao Lihong and Wang Lan, who knew I was in the hospital and did not know which hospital I was in. Just returned to the general ward, then deeply felt their friendship and warmth. First of all, Lihong called her cell phone, inquired about her illness, and asked my son to put it in my ear, saying, "I heard you had a successful operation. That's great! Rest in peace! " Then I sent a good message to me: "you may rest assured that the manuscript has already been released. You are weak, I don't say much. " After a while, he tweeted: "You can rest assured that the publication of the book, is stepping up the editorial design, for July and August to publish the book." Li Hong, a close friend of more than 40 years, made me make up my mind to write the 80s passion Literature - my main push in the ten year of the Wenhui monthly; he also recommended the manuscript to a publishing house and had a good communication with the editor in chief. He knew that the manuscript was an important part of my life and life in his later years. He was more worried about the illness, so it was sent about the manuscript at the first time. Ten minutes later, Wang Lan also called his mobile phone to comfort him and said, "You have a strong vitality, you will conquer the disease, and soon recover!" "Bad temper" of me, and "good temper" of her, used to be Wenhui old colleagues, in the "Wenhui Special Journal" partner for 10 years, cooperation tacit understanding. She was promoted to vice-editor of Wenhui Newspaper shortly after taking over the post of "Special Issue" and then transferred to Secretary of the Party Leadership Group of Shanghai Writers'Association until she retired. She also warmed up on WeChat, and wrote, "your friends are so concerned about you, that your personality is charming. First, I hope you can put aside all kinds of distractions and rest at ease. Two.

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